I was born into the Witness Protection Program so the details of my childhood have been kept from me for my own safety. I was released when it was discovered that I was never in any real danger at all. I was turned out into the street with a written apology, a pat on the head and a detailed invoice payable to the FBI for all that protection I never even needed. Talk about being behind before you even begin. Actually, I was recently paroled from a 15 year sentence in an office cube. It was a fortunate occurrence if you consider all the time I wasted wishing...more
